i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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