I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it's like iHOP with fire
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I need moral support for this bender
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
