If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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