hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
