porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think a kid would responsible me up
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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