dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
