elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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