Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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