He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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