DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
