it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
