she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
