NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize