So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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