They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
