I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
