i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
