Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
