despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
