doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
