Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
