I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
