everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
