Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
