We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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