I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Someone signed my nipple.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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