i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
