Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize