I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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