I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
