PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
