Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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