OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize