I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
