They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize