Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
