it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
