He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
