he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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