More tranny stories later!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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