I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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