we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize