I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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