# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Where is the hickey?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
