I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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