WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
cat food counts as protein by the way
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
