Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
