yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize