Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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