I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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