Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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