At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
