I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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