you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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