She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
