he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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