I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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