At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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