It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
COCAINE IS GR8
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize