So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
