I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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